we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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