My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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