I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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