then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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