We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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