onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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