question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
