Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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