And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
