I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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