i may or may not be watching the land before time
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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