Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize