How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
