Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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