When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
