So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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