remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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