You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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