I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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