We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dicks are not precious.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
