are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
