The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
