i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
