me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
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