She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
