My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
