your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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