and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
