dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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