I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
