I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
