Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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