Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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