dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
