you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
