That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
