im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
