: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
should my penis look like a turkey
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
