roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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