LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
