Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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