I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
