SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
