I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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