haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
