pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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