Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
