So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he shaved USA in his pubs
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
