i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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