I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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