So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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