Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
smell my finger.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
