Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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