so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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