Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
