nut hugger
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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