Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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