dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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