i may or may not be watching the land before time
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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