it's not cheating when I paid for it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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