I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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