belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
