do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
