It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
A bitchslap is in order.
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